The Maid of Honor's Congratulations
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
So, having missed as much of the wedding planning process as she had due to master’s degree things in another state, she at least had the maid of honor speech. Her one opportunity to stand center stage and have all the attention except for the groom’s at the wedding of the most beautiful woman she knew.
“As you all know, Kate is an unfairly perfect, ridiculously perfect, amazingly and sincerely and wholeheartedly wonderful person. Honestly, I think every person in this room can kind of admit you either did hate or really, really, really just wanted to, but she worked her magic, and you just couldn’t, no matter how hard you tried. And then maybe you ended up as maid of honor—oh, no, wait, that one is just me.
“God, just look at her. How is that even legal? And, God, she’s not even pregnant. How does something that perfect even happen? On what altar were all those virgins sacrificed for this?
“Anyway.
“I met Kate in high school, back before her ridiculously hot adult phase, when she was a moderately beautiful teenager and I was the weird loner friend who was desperately trying to be too cool for all this. I never grew out of that, and she grew into this. Life is unfair, but sometimes just so rewarding to look at.
“And I met the groom before she did, since our beautiful bride used her amazing perfection to accidentally steal my boyfriend—it’s okay, she hella cried over it, and that, too, was utterly adorable. And hey, at least she’s marrying him, right?
“And I can see a few of our grandmas shaking their heads in embarrassment that I’m mentioning all this like it’s the rehearsal dinner scene from Rachel Getting Married or something. And, first of all, thank you~! for comparing me to junkie Anne Hathaway, highlight of my night by far. And second of all, I need all of this as background so you understand the things that I mean when I tell every person in this room one thing:
“The only thing more perfect than Kate in this room is Kate and Wally together.
“You don’t know it like I do. Maid of Honor privilege to say so, but I know more than you do. There has not been any challenge or trial in his life that would not have been or would not be better with Kate there. There are no high points that Wally will ever have that would not be higher without Kate as his better half.
“I’ve been Kate’s best friend, or best distant strained and changing relationship that once was amazingly close friendship, and reclaimed platonic soul mate and staunchest coping mechanism. I have seen her at her worst, most terrified, most vulnerable, and other things that are none of your business to know about. And you know what? Wally makes all of that better and further away. He is a stable rock, he is that responsible boring old person that she will still love eighty years from now, so you both grow older than 100 together, okay?
“I love both of these people. This is the best wedding in ten years because this is going to be the best marriage in twenty years, and both of them know the marriage is more important than the wedding. I look forward to being fairy godmother to their children once much more responsible people are chosen for godmother and godfather. I look forward to getting texts from her when the both of them will have terrible flus from making out while contagious, and still feeling so blessed to be together. I look forward to a lifetime of invasive social media pictures of adorable dates and him constantly remembering to treat her like she’s the greatest treasure in the world,
“Because, Wally? We both know she is. You’re marrying my soul mate tonight, so you have to make her eternally happy.
“Congratulations on your beautiful, wonderful, perfect wedding and marriage. Now give me the kids I’m not going to have for myself.”
I found this very thought-provoking. When she started speaking, I didn't like this character at all, because I don't like bitterness and jealousy and there doesn't seem to be much else there at first. But as the 'speech' goes on it becomes more understandable, and she even berates herself to some extent. I still don't like bitterness and jealousy, but there are things that counteract it, and since I'm convinced she's not actually going to say that stuff at the wedding, I can't help but sympathise by the end.
'But, she was used to being that kid at performance...' I really feel this sentence loses impact by being too long; I'd end it at 'finally got to competition'. The following references are good, especially the 'judges catching different mistakes'; I'd just rework the whole thing into two or more sentences. It's such a relatable passage – very effective.
Reading on, I think a few sentences are a little overlong; I'll just suggest that you consider this if you ever do rework the piece, so long as you keep the long sentences in the speech, because I feel those work really well. A more restrained third person narrator would make an excellent contrast to the rambling bitterness of the character, I feel. There certainly is a strong sense of character here, and I say again, she's more complex than she first appears. Well done.
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